Remaining Faithful on the Journey When It Doesn’t Make Sense

Uninvited

I couldn’t have imagined that responding to God’s call to write and teach a Bible study on joy while suffering, that six months later, I’d be writing it from the 3^rd floor of the oncology cancer center. My exploration through the book of James was about to get real.

Yep. Cancer.

Like an uninvited hitchhiker, cancer burst onto the path of mine and my husband’s journey.

For sure, we were blind sighted by our medical emergency, but we had to pull our heads together, become proactive, and deal with the unthinkable—this unexpected, unforeseen, distraction … the epitome of evil.

A nurse advised, “Clear your calendar. You’re going to be busy.” So, I did. And while my body was physically on the move, my mind began to quietly wonder.

I wondered about many things.

When You, God, told me to write a Bible study on joy during suffering, was it to prepare me for

this sickness? Or would this sickness prepare me to write from the perspective of authentic

experience? But it didn’t matter which came first. They were both here.

I Wondered

What I fearfully wondered was how I would manage without him.

I wondered how I would focus on the essentials of managing a home and helping my three adult children trust God with their Dad and not become angry or question God’s plan.

I wondered how I would work—as a teacher, speaker, or writer.

I wondered about the lessons I fully expected would come.

I wondered if I would stay strong … and would my husband too?

I wondered about a lot of things while trying to encourage my husband and to continue to be the

“Pollyanna” he’d always known me to be.

So, I focused on Alan, his needs, the Bible, and prayer. As a Christ-follower, I grasped that this

cancer was not unexpected by God. It had been carefully sifted through His hands. I knew God

had always been and would continue to be faithful.

Who’s Faithful?

But then, an unpredictable and astonishing thought popped into my head, and deeply touched my

heart. Yes, popped! A deliberate thought, placed there by God. He was again, calling me to action.

He whispered to my heart. Yes, I’ve been faithful to you. Will you remain faithful to me?

Faithful.

Yes, I want to do that … I said out loud.

But then I wondered again. What could it mean to be faithful to Him?

The Strength to Continue

As the weeks progressed, the autumn leaves came together as heaps on the ground. Our adult children gathered to rake and bag leaves for us. A grandson was born. Soon, the cold winter winds began to blow.

Most days were spent at one doctor or another: infusions, surgery checkups, PET scans, and the like. But all days were spent in prayer, reading the Bible, and Alan and I talking together about the observations and responses we’d seen from each other, the people who love us, and for the many people who were praying.

And then it happened.

I heard the most surprising and beautiful words I had ever heard. Alan and I were sitting on the

sofa watching TV when he reached over to me, touched my hand and said, “I have something to

say.”

“Okay,” I said inquisitively.

“I have so much joy right now. I guess this doesn’t make sense coming from a man with cancer,”

he chucked, “but I do. In fact, I may have the most joy I’ve ever had in my whole life.”

Tears puddled and gently coursed down my face.

“When they show I’m cancer free, I’ll fall prostrate on the floor and praise God. Well, regardless

of what happens… I’ll fall prostrate and praise God.”

It Just Doesn’t Make Sense

And that’s when we both knew we were living the life that doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense to be simultaneously sad and joyful at the same time. Sad that my husband suffers the side effects and pain of cancer, yet joyful at the magnitude of God’s blessings while in it. We were walking with God, drowning in His grace, and experiencing the blessing of laughter and internal change

James 1:2 came alive for me. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (NIV). And now I understood.

Joy in Suffering

The trial in and of itself doesn’t produce joy, rather, joy flows from the realization that God has us both—our entire family—in His grip and He will never let us go. The joy comes in knowing we’re never out of His thoughts; joy arises in the transformation we recognize in ourselves and others.

And this is what I’ve come to love— the journey that doesn’t make sense.

 

It doesn’t make sense to suddenly become brave, but in hard times, we do. I was reminded of a quote from JD Greear that I’ve learned to love: God doesn’t call the brave; He makes brave those he calls.

It doesn’t make sense that at 6:30am during a torrential downpour, Alan, without complaining, straps on a knee brace to relieve the pain so he can fulfill his work commitment and provide for our future.

It doesn’t make sense that while the doctors were preparing to do an MRI to see if the cancer had

spread to the brain, Alan, smiling, says he feels peaceful.

And it doesn’t make sense that my husband would tell me to go fulfill my purpose by serving the women in India while he needed me to serve him. “I don’t want to give the devil that satisfaction,” he said.

Hugging me he says, “I’m glad it’s me.” No. From my perspective, this absolutely makes no sense. Maybe it’s a confusing time and you just need this reminder to trust that God will do what doesn’t make sense if you remain faithful to Him.

So, about that. How do we remain faithful?

I Will Be Faithful

To be faithful to God means we give our steadfast devotion to Him alone. We refuse to look to another person or situation. Proverbs 4:27 warns, “Do not turn to the right nor the left. Our thirst will never be satisfied with what the world has to offer. Only God satisfies the thirsty.” (Psalm109:7)

To be faithful to God means there’s joy amid the sadness. Happiness is based on emotions and wavers as our situation does. Joy comes from standing on God’s word and believing He has a plan.

To be faithful to God means to expect strength for every task we deal with and each emotion that floods the heart. Nehemiah 8:10 tells us, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

To be faithful to God means we spend time reading His Word. Jeremiah writes, “Your words were found and I ate them. And Your words became for me a joy and the delight of the heart (Jeremiah15:16).

To be faithful to God means we wait in hopeful expectation. Romans 12:12 says, “Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.”

When faithful to God, we can expect the unexpected and have joy in the journey that doesn’t make sense.

Copyrighted. Written By Debbie Presnell